Relatively Funny Stick Plaques

Some of my best decisions… are pour decisions!, I'm not slurring my words, I'm speaking in cursive!, Beer… because everyone needs a hobby!, Family are like underwear., Children are often spoiled… because no one will spank Grandma!, Sisters. Classy, sassy, and a little bad assy!, Sometimes I open my mouth… and my mother comes out!, Shhh no one cares!, I love the sound you make when you shut up!, If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question!, I'm not bossy, I have leadership skills!, Retirement The pay sucks but the hours are great!, I don't always enjoy being retired… Oh wait, yes I do!, At my age I've done it all, seen it all. I just don't remember it all!, I'm getting so old that all my friends in Heaven are going to think that I didn't make it!, As I get older I realize that making everyone happy is impossible…, I hate it when I see an old person and then realize… wait we went to high school together., Take a pitcher, it'll last longer., Be the reason someone smiles today., Life happens. Wine helps., A mother's love is unconditional. Her temper is another story…, I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She hugged me., You think I'm sarcastic? You should hear my inside voice!, Don't expect me to sugar coat things… I'm not Willy Wonka!